


Those Crazy Messed-Up Things That You Do

by quiverby



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: Case Fic, Community: smallfandomfest, M/M, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-20
Updated: 2013-07-20
Packaged: 2017-12-20 19:55:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/891211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiverby/pseuds/quiverby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve sometimes doesn't understand how the Donovans get anything done together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Those Crazy Messed-Up Things That You Do

**Author's Note:**

> Written for smallfandomfest 13: Prompt: Warehouse 13, Joshua/Steve & Claudia: Who's the Brains of this Operation?
> 
> Thanks to minkhollow for the beta.

This was going to be one of _those_ days. Steve sighed while he watched the Donovans bicker. They were in Paris, following a ping that sent everyone in the Place de La Concorde running around and speaking what seemed like gibberish, but Joshua said was Ancient Egyptian. He had come up from Switzerland, investigating rumours on his own before he bumped into Steve and his sister. In a way, Steve was glad the other man was around, because Claudia was in one of her moods, prickly for no particular reason. Joshua said something about fucking May at one point, but Steve didn’t push. Watching the two of them, Steve had a momentary flicker of emotion over Livvie. 

However, this was not the moment for emotion as the pointy thing was still in full Artifact-mode. Joshua had drawn a line in chalk on the sidewalk, after doing some calculations, and was forbidding any of them to cross it. Claudia had set up shop with the tub of goo, a portable soldering gun (only Claudia) and some hastily drawn schematics. Joshua was waving some papers in Claud’s face, trying to get her to pay attention. 

“Claudia, listen to me. To get the arc we need for that thing, we have to go a couple blocks back. The equations for what you want me to do are all wrong. I can’t change physics!” 

Claudia looked up from what Steve was increasingly certain was a goo bomb and shook her head. “Joshua, I don’t want you to do physics, I want you to find me enough materials to make a catapult.” 

Joshua rolled his eyes. “That’s my point, Claudia! If I were to get the materials for the catapult you want, it would take up most of this street! At this point, it would be better if one of us got whammied, and ran over and just threw the goo on the thing.” 

“That’s impractical, Joshua, and you know it!” Claud snapped, not even looking up this time. “We can’t go closer, and we can’t risk whatever side effects that thing has to go closer to it.” 

Steve finally realized that if anything was going to happen, he was going to have to stop them from arguing. “Hey, guys? If Joshua doesn’t think he can catapult that thing, Claud, we might have to change tactics. Joshua, you need to stop thinking everything is as obvious as it is to you.” 

The Donovans stopped their bickering for a moment. Claud muttered something, and Joshua kissed Steve on the cheek. “Sometimes, Steve, I think you’re smarter than Claud and I put together. What’s your idea?”

Steve shrugged. “I’m not smarter than you guys, you know that. I just know that if we’re going to get this damn thing neutralized and fixed, you two need to stop bickering.” 

Claud stopped her welding and stood up. “So if the catapult is impractical, what’ve we got from there?” 

A moment passed, and Steve wondered if Joshua had teleported his mind away, but before he could say anything, the other man perked up. “Hey, Claud, wasn’t there a remote-control car shop back there a couple blocks?” 

“Yeah, why?” Before anyone else could answer her, Claud’s face lit up. “Oh! I get it! Joshua, bro, you’re a genius!” She ran off, returning in about five minutes with a remote-control car and some batteries. “You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to ask if batteries are included when you don’t know the language.” Joshua started to protest, but Claud waved a hand at him. “Shut up, Joshua. I know that your French is better than my... everything.” 

From there, everything was a flash of motion in Claudia’s hands. She took apart the bottom of the car, attaching it to the goo-ball setup that she had already created to go in a catapult. Before she could do anything with it, however, Steve put up a hand. “Wait.” He eyed the thing. “Claud, that’s not going to detonate on its own. You’d have to run it into something pointy. You made it to impact something, not to make an impact. Even if we run it into a corner, all it’s going to do is fuzz out.”

“Shit.” Claud leaned against a street light, and eyed the now huge mess on the sidewalk. “I don’t think any of us have any incendiary devices on us, so what the shit do we do now?” 

“Wait. I got it! It’s like mousetrap cars, but on a bigger scale!” Joshua grabbed his papers, and started scribbling a few things, looking more than a bit mad science-y. “We can combine the remote control car and the catapult idea, and get it into a spot where we can lob the ball on top of the obelisk.” 

Once Joshua got going, Steve just went along for the ride, bemusedly. They all pitched in, creating a catapult on top of the remote-control base, with the goo ball securely in the throwing arm. A few minutes later, Steve steered the car into the position that Joshua plotted out. Claud hit the button to fire the goo ball, and it flew in a perfect arc to the tip of the obelisk, dripping its contents down. 

Immediately, the entire obelisk flashed and the goo disappeared, a reverberation flying out through the streets of Paris. Joshua was blown back into Steve’s arms from the impact, and Claud was flattened on the pavement. When Steve finally came to his senses, Claud had already crossed more than half of the distance to the thing, to neutralize it further. Joshua was stirring in his arms, wincing a bit at the percussive force. “Did we get it?” 

Steve laughed slightly, pushing some of Joshua’s hair out of his face. “Yes, Joshua, we got it.” 

The other man stirred, turning to look at Steve. “We couldn’t have done it without you, you realize.” 

Steve shrugged, leaning over and kissing him. “Well, I guess it’s good to have an ATF agent around sometimes.” 

“More than sometimes, silly.” Joshua pulled him close, kissing Steve even more until a cough came from behind them. 

“Cough cough, says the awkward little sister.” Claudia came up, shaking her head at the couple, but grinning. “Anyway, we’re all good here. I’m going to clean up this crap, and I think you two need to stop kissing and help.” 

Joshua pulled away and started to pick up some of the junk around where they’d camped out. “Oh, alright, little sister. I guess we can spare your poor innocent little sensibilities.” 

Steve just cracked up. The Donovans were back at it, and somehow, that made everything right with the world.


End file.
